Why are Americans reacting so strongly to Jet Blue Attendant?
Friday, August 13th, 2010The basic emotions: Happy, Sad, Angry, Excited and Fearful are experienced from the second half of our first year of living until the day we pass away. While we experience these emotions, sometimes as a flood to our system, our ability to process and cope with them is another thing. That is a skill that we are taught by our caregivers. Unfortunately the opportunity to express emotional distress is rarely afforded to men. We, as a society socialize them to believe they need to be stoic, strong and independent with the ability to unconditionally cope with their feelings on their own. However, in the climate in which most of us live currently, the skills of coping and processing how we feel is not being taught or encouraged to anyone, putting men in even more of a deficit to learning or being exposed to this skill set. As we experience job insecurity, financial crises, and home loss, all of this leads to emotional stress which results in everyone being a little more edgy and ha!
ving a lack of knowledge on how to handle it.
The question that is consistently being asked is “What do I do with how I feel?” Nobody knows what to do with the negative emotions. When we bury them or try to hide them, it marinades internally which is never a positive thing. The Jet Blue attendant is a reflection of what happens when this occurs. His anger, frustrations, possible disappointment and feelings of being overwhelmed finally came to a head and exploded. As a culture this speaks to us because these are emotions that most of us are experiencing daily without a working knowledge of what to do in the aftermath of having the feelings. So, we turn to things that are familiar but not necessarily healthy like emotional eating or emotional drinking for comfort. While this may fix the hurt in the short term, it doesn’t remedy anything in the long term. Typically it results in intensified feelings of guilt, disappointment, sadness and weight gain. These are standard ways people, particularly men handle their emot!
ional distress.
So, what can we do to cope with our distress? There are many things that can be done. Some of which may appear to be cliché, but in reality they are very helpful aids in coping with life distress:
1. Journaling: Writing down our thoughts and feelings is not something that just women do. Everybody can do it and benefit from the experience. It’s an opportunity to express thoughts and feelings that are personal. One may decide to share if they choose, but it’s not necessary. The most important component is the purging of emotions.
2. Exercise: A fifteen minute brisk walk, dancing, a quick jog, kickboxing whatever will get you moving. While your pulse rate may be going up, your stress levels will be coming down.
3. Use your Senses as a guide: Think about the everyday comforts of life and use this as a guide to help with coping. Do you like smell flowers; then pick a bouquet for yourself. Does listening to music bring you calm; then make a calming CD. Do you like to play in the sand; then create a small Zen garden. It’s really a matter of thinking about the simple experiences that bring joy and making sure to incorporate them into a routine of self care.
4. Time Management: With the roles and expectations that either we have for ourselves or that other people have for us, it’s imperative to create a space within the day that is solely for self care. Even if it’s only for 20 minutes, that time can become critical to rejuvenating yourself and making sure you can follow through with the remainder of the tasks or expectations required of you.
About the Author:
Erika Evans-Weaver, LMFT holds a Master’s Degree in Psychology with a concentration in Marriage and Family Therapy from LaSalle University, a Master’s Degree in Human Sexuality from Widener University and is a current doctoral student at Widener University for Human Sexuality. She is an Adjunct Professor at some of the local Universities, has a private practice in Flourtown, PA and is Co-Founder of Ourhealthllc.com, a health media and consulting firm. She writes as a sex expert on Sexualhealth.com and is Regional Director of Pennsylvania Association of Marriage and Family Therapists.
